


Angel

by PrincipeHayden



Category: Black Veil Brides, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety Attacks, Blindness, Childhood Trauma, Drama & Romance, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Flashbacks, M/M, Nightmares, Rumors, Tags to be added, Teenage Drama, Trauma, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 22:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12241917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincipeHayden/pseuds/PrincipeHayden
Summary: In which Harry finds an angel in a broken boy.[High school AU]Inspired by a comment on an Instagram post and Instagrammer I follow.





	1. Preview

"Who's that, Niall?" Harry asked the blond boy who sat on the other side of the table while pointing to a tall, black haired boy standing at the counter of the coffee shop nervously fidgeting with the end of his jumper with on hand while his other ran through his hair multiple times.

"Oh, that is Andy Biersack. He goes to our school. He was in my English and science class in year 11, sat up front in both, and barely spoke. I heard he got adopted by a family over here when his parents died. They were in a car crash and he wears the glasses due glass getting in his eyes and leaving him partly blind." Niall said looking over his shoulder at the black haired boy who now had his coffee and heading over to a corner table to sit in. As he watched him sit, he turned back towards Harry who seemed to be fixated on him. He rolled his eyes. Already Niall could tell what Harry was thinking, and it wasn't good. "Don't even think about it. Just don't."

Harry knitted his eyebrows together at that. Why would Niall tell him that? What was so bad about the other boy? "Why? What shouldn't I think about?"

Sighing and leaning forward over the table, Niall glanced around before speaking, "He's not worth becoming friends or getting involved with. No one talks to him, he doesn't talk to anyone. Hell, I don't think I ever heard him have a full conversation with anyone." He let another sigh out. "There is also multiple rumors about him. And I mean multiple, Harry, and half of them aren't good. You don't want to get into that mess. He's better off left alone, so are we, and you."

Although he knew Niall meant well, none of those words sat right with Harry. He personally did not believe that the boy, Andy, was a bad person. He never heard any of the rumors, especially since the group Niall and him hang around know everything; and even if there were rumors were true, he honestly did not think that they should affect him. Rumors were never fully true until the person they were about said they were, and since Andy seemed to be alone, then the rumors were always created to make other people talk about said person, make them hated, or even loved. It was a concept Harry could not warp his head around. He never understood the need for them. They hurt the person and everyone around. They outcast and estrange the person. And that seemed to case for Andy. He was an outcast, and completely estranged from, as it seemed, everyone; including Harry himself. How hadn't he noticed him this entire time? Their last year of school was approaching soon, and sitting here in a coffee shop, he finally noticed him.

Taking a small glance over at Andy behind Niall, Harry reached into his back pocket and beginning to take out his wallet. This was a dumb idea of him to do this. Buying the boy a coffee. It felt cliche to do this. Buy the person you don't know a coffee, becomes friends with them, and fall in love-all cliche, and Harry knew. He read to many stories, watched to many sappy romance movies to know how this all went down. Though, he felt the need to do this. Even if he would not directly talk to him, or hand him the coffee, the gesture was there to get to know him. And hopefully it worked.

Watching Harry take out his wallet then began to get up and walk past him, Niall grabbed his arm before he could walk any further and pulled him back to be able to look at him. He searched his face for anything, wondering what he was thinking and more importantly doing. "What the hell are you doing?"

Adverting his eyes from Niall, he stared over at Andy who sat at the table, black hair covering his face as he sat with his legs criss-crossed in the chair, with a book resting on his lap, phone set on the table, and one earbud hanging downward with music defiantly on from the small head nods he noticed. He seemed completely fine, in his own world, almost as if nothing around him could disturb him. Not even the sounds of talking and bell that rang overtime the door of the coffee shop. All it did was made Harry want to interact with him more. Andy was a mystery. An angel. A mysterious angel he wanted to get to know, even if it meant every so slowly interacting with him.

"I'm buying a coffee." He said matter of factly before lightly ripping his arm out of Niall's grip and walked up to the counter to buy a coffee. He was nervous walking up to the counter. He still could not believe he was doing this. Hell, he had no confidence that Andy would even accept the coffee. Although, it was worth a try. Taking in a large breath, he walked up to the counter in which the barista seemed to notice, yet gave him a reassuring smile as he approached. Somehow, it gave Harry a small boost of confidence that this wasn't a bad decision. Not a bad decision at all.

"What can I get you?" The barista calmly said as he stood there reading to type in the order.

Glancing nervously over at Andy, Harry said to the barista in a low voice, "Whatever he usually gets, please." 

The barista nodded and began to type in the order on the screen. "Alright, and what name for it?"

This made him freeze. What name should he put down the coffee? It's not like he couldn't say to put down Andy since it would give him a way and make him look creeper. Plus, then it would leave Andy wondering if someone asked his name. Harry did not want that all. "Uh, put down Angel. And please, give it him. Don't tell him who it was." Harry quietly said to the barista who seemed to understand. He took out the money for the order and gave it the barista only to tell him to the change as a tip. Once making sure the order would get to Andy, Harry began his way back over to the table to only see his best friend's expression. It was of horror and shock. Not the combination he wanted to see.

Watching Niall's expression as he began to sit at the table, he gave a 'What' expression to him, wondering what the big deal was. Sure, Niall told him those few small 'facts' on Andy, and warned him not to get involved; although he did not understand how Niall could give him this expression. It seemed idiotic for him to be told to stay from someone, especially by his own best friend who's expression seemed to be growing from horrified to shock as they sat staring at each.

Leaning over the table again to talk to Harry, Niall tried his hardest not to raise his voice. "What in the hell did you just do?"

"I bought a coffee." He said taking a glance over at Andy who took the coffee from the barista with a questioning look. The smile on his face grew larger as he saw him take a sip from the straw, still with the questioning expression on his face. "I bought a coffee for an angel."


	2. |1| Andy

I had gotten a coffee from a random person in the coffee shop last week. The barista never told me who it was from, only that it was from someone within the coffee shop itself who wanted to be left anonymous. I, myself, did not know who it could be. No one talked, interacted, or even noticed me at all. And I never talked or interacted with anyone outside of my home and family. So I could not understand why someone in a coffee shop, a random person, would buy a coffee for me. Especially the one coffee I always buy. An iced chocolate-cameral with whipped cream on top. They probably asked the barista themselves what I usually ordered; however, it seemed so strange to get it. I went to that coffee shop every day since I found it in freshmen-I mean year 9 of school, and no one until know had ever gotten me a coffee nor even an item from the shops bakery. I mean, why would they? If someone saw a six foot tall, long haired boy sitting at a corner table with legs criss-crossed reading a book with earbuds in, they would want nothing to do with them. So, why would someone do that for me? Especially, to have the word 'Angel' to be written on the cup for me. It didn't make sense. 

As much as I wanted to continuously think about that day last week and why someone had 'Angel' written on the cup, I honestly couldn't due to school finally starting today. Today would be the start of my last school year, and nothing made me more nervous than that. I was excited to be able to finally to leave school, not be around the rumors, or even the groups of various cliques who look at me as if I should be six feet underground; however, I was not excited to be going off to university. I didn't have any plans after this was year over. Originally my plans were to go into either music, theater, or writing, yet now those plans did not seem be going as planned. My grades were decent, as well as my test scores, though not enough to get me into good universities. I didn't want to disappoint my parents, after all they loved me to death and would still be proud of me no matter what I do with my life; yet I still didn't want to disappoint them by not furthering my education. Plus, I didn't want to disappoint my actual parents too even if they were not here with me anymore.

Finishing adjusting my hair so one side fell over my glasses I gave a small smile to myself in the mirror. I did not look to bad today. Then again it was the only the first day of school and by the time the week was over I would be a mess by then. Mum would be hounding me to take care of myself and clean my room as where my dad will be telling me to use dry shampoo, use a ton of body spare, and just slowly wash your body. For him, that was normal. He was a manager for bands around Europe, sometimes America. He was on the road six to eight months out of the year, and could be home for a full year depending on what a band is doing, or home for a few months before heading back out to the road. It was a draining job for him to be away from both mum and I, yet he loved it. His job had been one reason for me to go into music or music management. Though, just not the struggling of being on tour for six to eight months. If I can't survive living like a mess without mum hounding me to clean, then tour life would not be for me. Even if I did ever become a tour manager or a member of band I wouldn't survive. And I know mum would still be worrying about me the entire time, and I would miss her presence and food. Herself and her food was beyond words. She was a wonderful mother to have. 

Before I had been adopted, mum had tried going into culinary school only to switch to a design and fashion degree not even a year into university. As much as she missed the opportunities she could have had with her culinary degree, she know successfully works for a fashion magazine in London, and runs a blog on her cooking and family. She began the blog a year and half after adopting me, and it took off from just the first articles and more importantly the one article on me and how I've opened up from us as a family cooking together. I still remember how quiet and reserved I had been around mum and dad for the longest time and how those family moments changed me around them. And it was all thanks to mum being mum and her cooking. I couldn't ask for a better second mum than her. 

"Andy, come down for breakfast." Mum's voice made her way upstairs and into the bathroom. "Before your dad comes back from run in the next ten minutes and eats it all."

"I'll be down in a few minutes!" I shouted back placing away all my morning routine items back in their spot in the bathroom cabinet. "Don't let dad eat all the pancakes, nor my banana Nutella muffins!" Mum had began making me the muffins after she saw me at two in the morning, on the kitchen floor coating one of her banana nut muffins in Nutella, and let's just say she tried it too and now she fills up the muffins with the hazelnut spread each time she bakes them. They are always the favorite part of my morning and day, along with the rest of mum's cooking.

Looking in the mirror one last time, I gave a nod to myself before heading out of the bathroom, switching off the lights, and heading down the stairs. Our house, or flat, I never understood the difference, was average size. Dad compared our house to a townhouse in Brooklyn or a suburb in a city. Before they had adopted me, they owned a studio apartment in Greenwich, as large as our living room and half of the kitchen combined. It was not fit for growing a family that they wanted to grow, and not in the right location as mum and dad both wanted to move closer to downtown London for the sake of their jobs, which was not a horrible move. It allowed me to go to a good school, for us to have multiple options of transportation between my parent's cars, the buses, and the underground, and it had a multitude of shops and restaurants and places to see. 

Walking into the kitchen the small smile that was once on my lips before came back. I saw mum placing away cleaned dishes in the cabinets and the food laid out on the counter. She always did this every morning when she cooked breakfast, mostly allowing dad and I to get what he needed in case we were running late or she had to leave early. It was a perfect system for our mornings.

"Oh, you're finally down here. Thought your dad would race you too it and eat all the food." Mum said glancing over her shoulder at me as I took a plate laid out and began getting food.

A scoff left me. "It's not as if he's done it before."

She chuckled at that, "Very true honey. Oh, I added some cinnamon and orange zest to the pancakes. You don't mind that, do you?"

"It's pancakes. You could put glass shards in them and I'd still eat them." I said taking my plate over to the small island and stood there watching her expression. She seemed concerned. She always seemed concerned. Anything I said remotely self-destructive made her concerned. Then again, she had good reasons to be concerned about me. Letting my fork hang in my hand, I looked at her and said calmly, "Mum, you know I was joking." 

"I know honey." She said putting away the final dish and closing the cabinet. "It's just..Andy, you worry me at times, and today, well..I'm more worried about you."

Of course she would be. Every year I couldn't change her mind, though after so many times of coming home, calls from school, and nights of sitting up with me—she worried overtime when school began. Even after holiday breaks. "I'm going to be fine. The most that could happen today is that I'll be stared at again." I said taking a bit out of the pancakes. Nothing will happen right away because they'll be to busy talking about their summer to notice me.

"Alright." She stated, placing the dish towel on the oven handle. "Just, be careful today. Please."

I gave her a small smile at that and nod. It was really all I could give her as reassurance. After all, it was better than giving a half-assed lie to her. 

Once I finished breakfast and watched my dad who had his shirt stuck on from sweat, hair completely plastered to his face, and seemed to be melting from his run eat the rest of breakfast, I had gone up stairs to get my bag for school. I had prepared it for the last couple nights, trying to make sure I had everything I needed for each class, all my notebooks, pencils, and even a calculator for maths which I would probably fail. I had no hope in even passing the first week. Hell, I still don't understand how I passed last year and I sat up front, got extra help, and asked questions. Maybe maths weren't my strength in school or life and personally I felt very unaffected by it. Then again it's hard to be affected by a subject in school when everything and yourself is fighting you. However, that's life in some cases. 

Slinging my bag over my shoulder then taking my phone from its charger and gathering my earbuds, I headed out of my room shutting the door behind me and down the stairs. All the way down though I kept mentally preparing myself and if I had done everything I needed to do this morning. I had showered, put on clean clothes, taken my meds, and ate breakfast. I made sure I had everything I needed for today. I had done everything I had to do this morning. If I had accomplished that then the first day of school today wouldn't be that hard. All I had to do was not let any stares get to me, not let the memories affect me, not even my mind, not myself get to me. Then maybe I could survive the day. Surviving the day was all I needed. If I could survive one day, I could survive the rest of the year, right?


	3. |2| Harry

Andy hadn't left my mind since last week. Every day since then he popped up in my thoughts, leaving me with images of him sitting at that corner table at the coffee shop, reading the book, or him fidgeting with his jumper sleeve as he waited for his order. I couldn't even get his shocked expression out of my face when he got the coffee from me. Almost as if it was his first time getting an order from someone else. Had no one ever got him a drink? Had no ever interacted with him? I couldn't understand it. He didn't seem bad at all. What Andy seemed as lost and locked up in his own world. Trapped even. He was so..mysterious and all I wanted to do was find out more about him. There was so much I didn't know about him, and I've only seen him last week and a few times throughout the years. Otherwise that was it. I've never seen him much more than that.

"Are you still thinking of him, Harry?" Niall questioned me as he got in my car. He'd been telling me since last week all the rumors about Andy. All they did was make me roll my eyes. None them even fit together at all. One of the rumors he told was that on Halloween one night, a drunk group of teenagers from our school went to an abandoned property just south of London, and saw him killing cats in the house. However, it was all bullshit. The only reason I knew was because on that exact day, I saw Andy out in downtown London with his family while I had been driving back home from picking up my sister's order from a store, and my step-brother's need for ice cream from one of the 'best' places in downtown. I never was bothered getting what they wanted when I was out, yet when they both can drive then force me to go out and get them what they need I find it more annoying than when Niall, Louis, Zayn, and Liam make me drive them around.

"No Niall I'm thinking of how annoying you are with asking that question fifteen million times this past week." I sarcastically said to him as we began to head down the road. "Of course, I'm still thinking about him. He hasn't left my mind at all."

"You are completely lost in it." He shook his head. "It's not going to end well Harry. Remember how that one boy last year tried talking to him and he apparently got attack by him?"

_Oh, yes and then we found out it was his own fault because he got attacked by a raccoon._ "How high had he been again?"

Niall eyed me from the side. He knew I was right. We heard the story on the news a day after and how weed was found in his possession. That wanker had been so stoned he thought that the raccoon was a cat, and got attacked by it after picking it up and holding it. I think he's in juvie now. Or living in Wales with extended family.

"Okay then," he said in a slew of air. "how about that time when Andy apparently cut himself in class and wrote in his own blood."

"He got a nose bleed," I sighed saying that. Niall was up in this shit farther than he was up conspiracy theories. "then fucking Tommy decided to tell the school he saw Andy take his pencil, and dig into his arm to draw blood." Shaking my head, I turned down the road heading towards school. I guess his nagging about the rumors did not help since we started school today. I should have known he would be dropping these on me today. Although with it being the beginning of school, new rumors would someone make their way out. So, another round of lies that would never be proven true unless Andy said they were. Not that he spoke a lot.

"How do you even know he got a nose bleed?" He questioned while texting away at someone. I can understand now why he doesn't drive that much. He'd kill himself before he could send a text.

"Because Niall I saw him in the nurse's office that day when I had call to go home from getting sick. Do you ever pay attention to anything other than the group chat or your Instagram?"

There was silence for a good number of minutes. I glanced over at him to see him still typing away and his flash on his phone going off every time a new notification came into his phone. _You speak to soon Harry._ Leaning my head back and straightening out, I speed up slightly down the road until a stop sign came into view and I braked hard forcing him to fly forward with his seatbelt restraining him. I smirked when I saw his expression out of the corner of my eye and continued driving after making sure the way was clear. By the time we were down the road of our school, and his expression kept growing worse all I could do was chuckle and smile wide. I didn't want to do that to him; although all it did was prove my point. He paid more attention to his social media then he does to his own friends, or in this case friend.

"You're a real wanker, Harry. A real, bloody fucking wanker." Niall said with a voice laced with venom. I knew he was joking when he said that to me. He usually calls me that whenever I do shit to him. Whether it be filling a card with glitter for his birthday, handing him food that is actually another, telling him on my way when I'm around the corner and seeing him standing outside looking for me, that time Liam and I texted him at two in the morning on a Saturday telling him he was going to be late for school, and finally the time Liam, Louis, Zayn, and I decided to fill his room with balloons filled with sprinkles—yes sprinkles—and have them pop every time he stepped and moved around them. Let's just say that he wasn't pleased and his parents made us all clean the mess up. We didn't learn our lesson after that because we filled his car with balloons right after we got it. Sometimes all you got to do is be a dick to your best friend and smile because they could never hate you. Even if you want to get to know someone that they don't want you to.

When we got to school, Niall had gotten out of my car before I even placed my car in park and make his way to where our little group was with Louis, Liam, and Zayn. Honestly, it wasn't our little group, more like various people from other cliques around the school. All of them hanged out with, talked, and followed us on social media along with school. Then again, Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn follow up on everything. The gossip, the rumors, the new people, just all the four-four-one in the school. I don't think I've ever kept with it. I mean, I didn't even know about the rumors surrounding Andy until I pointed him out last week and thought of him continuously, remembering the features I noticed and the small encounters I've seen him. That Halloween, the day in nurse office, and now the coffee shop. It seemed odd for me to only see him three times when I've been going to school with him for years.

Three days prior to today, I spent searching for my primary school yearbooks which I knew Andy would be in them. I had gone through all the ones from year one to year five until I found him. He was in my grade and class; yet I've never remembered him throughout those years. Had it been because he never spoke out, never had any friends, or was it because I never noticed him myself? I have no idea, but it was one of those options. I couldn't really think of more. I knew that our group and people of school spread the rumors around, yet I've never took part in any. How could I when I barely remembered him during primary school and only a few times throughout these last four years? It seemed impossible, then again at the same time it didn't. When you keep yourself out the loop on any rumors or gossip and only follow up on the truth, then

"Harry!" I heard Zayn call out my name as I made my way towards the group locking my car. "Thought you were going to stay in your car all day."

I shook my head with a low chuckle. "No mate, wouldn't want to miss the first day of school."

That was true, I didn't want to miss the first day of school. School was great, I had great grades, my test scores had been good to get me recognized by universities from around London and even around the United Kingdom making me feel proud of myself and my parents. Even my dad despite him not always being in my life. He sent me many emails, texts, and letters saying how proud he was and that he'd helped plan the large going off to college party with my mum and step-dad. I think it was an event all three of planned after I got a few letters in the mail last school year. They did the same for my older siblings, so them doing it for me was not unordinary. Another reason why I didn't want to sit in my car all day, was because I finally got hear whatever Zayn, Liam, and Louis had done this past week before school and summer; even though we spent half of the time together. Zayn had gone on vacation with his family the last three weeks up until two days before today. He'd updated all his social media, told us what happened, yet we more so wanted to hear it from in him person. Liam...Liam well, he tried throwing party after party only to keep getting caught by his family. He threw on before Zayn went on vacation, and let's just say having to be the driver for Zayn, Niall, and Louis, I had to watch them get wasted then haul their wasted bodies into my car. As much as it was a fun party, it didn't go well for the two when they woke up in my house hungover as shit. We also heard that day that Liam got in trouble again and couldn't have any of us over, drink any alcohol his parents had, or even go out until school began. He was practically on house arrest for three weeks. Louis, practically was around Niall and I this entire summer. He threw a few parties as Liam; however, he only did it when he knew his parents weren't coming back at an odd time. Although he was around Niall and I, he did go over to America for an entire month, going to New York City and Disney World. He brought us back a ton of souvenirs in which Niall mocked the entire time. As for Niall...well..as I said, we were around each other all summer, so there was not a single thing I didn't know what happened. Then add in all the times he stayed over, we were never not in each other presence. I am surprised my parents, nor siblings kicked him out of our house. Hell, I'm even surprised myself I never kicked him out.

Stuffing my keys into my bag I made my way towards them and felt Niall clap his arm around my back and bring me close to him. If we weren't as close as we were and he was just another asshole boy who tried to hang out with us, I'd shrug him off. Not as if I've done it before. It does get annoying when people who are in your 'group' per say try to get all close to you. I couldn't stand it. "Feels good to be back to school, right?"

Glancing over at Niall, I nearly laughed. "It's still seven in the morning Niall. School hasn't even fully begun."

Niall gave me a tooth filled smiled as we walked in with Zayn, Liam, and Louis. "School always began when we get here Harry. You've know that since day the first year."

I couldn't deny that statement. We have practically begun the day at school since the first year. We don't know why it happened, yet it did. I've never understood it. Being popular or loved by the school. None of it would matter anyway when we finish school this year.

Nodding towards my best friend, I gave a half smile to go along with what he said. He gave a little laugh as we continued to walk in the building.

_Here we go. First day of school._

The first day of school was normal as usual, we all got our time table with the classes, what time our lunch was, and when our breaks were. Our teachers gave us the syllabus, and left us to sit there for the rest of class. However, this was only the morning of school and still I had yet to see Andy. He was in none of my morning classes, nor my two morning electives that I took. In our group chat, Liam texted us saying that Andy was in his morning weight lifting class, along with a picture showing him sitting in the corner. He was the only so far who had him or said he had in his class. Zayn had barely texted us this morning, Louis was off in his little world of playing those popular mobile games, and Niall was dropping a ton of cryptic messages and memes in the chat, making all us put it on mute. The worst part of it, I had two morning classes with him and saw him blowing up the chat. If the teacher wasn't watching like us a hawk, and he wasn't sitting so close to me, I would have the nerve to hit him upside the head. It was something I've wanted to do a lot.

Sitting down in the courtyard area with the rest of my friends, I sighed. I was still disappointed I hadn't seen Andy once today, and all I've had was Liam photo of Andy shitting in the corner of the room. Our gym and weight lifting room was similar to one's universities had, yet we had a small seating area in which Andy sat in. In the picture, I could see how out of placed he looked, yet so fragile and angelic. I could make out his glasses, how they framed his face in a perfect way along with his hair. It was so long and black. I wondered how he took care of it since it seemed so long. He was wearing the same jumper he wore last week at the coffee shop, except it looked two sizes too big for him. He was so...he was so beautiful, fragile, and angelic. Even in a photo where he seemed so small and out of place. I just wanted to get to know him, be around him, figure out why he was such a mys-

"Dude, have you not been listening to an entire thing I've been saying?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked over at Zayn who seemed to be wondering what was wrong with me. "Sorry, I was thinking of someone..something I mean. What were you saying, Zayn?"

"I was saying how I nearly got attacked by a bird when we were in Greece the first four days. Who are you strung up on that you didn't hear the entire conversation?"

"Easy, he's strung up on Andy Biersack." Niall blurred out causing me to glare at him. I'm surprised he hadn't told any of them yet at all. What was he waiting until today to tell them?

Zayn arched at an eyebrow at me and began to laugh. "You're strung up on Andy Biersack, the Andy Biersack? You know he's bad news right? Have you not heard the rumors?"

I began to open my mouth to protest until Liam cut my off, "That outcast? Harry, dude, how you could pick him to strung up on? Niall told us you were lost in your mind about someone, but him? You could do better."

"There are plenty of more..normal people to fond over. I mean, I was surprised you and Niall hadn't gotten together with how close you two are."

"We all know Niall would end up third-wheeling himself and Harry if they were together," Louis chimed in. "besides, we all know Niall has his eyes on Jessie from his writing class. Have you guys not seen his Snapchats where he talks about her all the time?"

Niall scoffed beside me and all I could do was lean back, closing my eyes trying to drown out their conversation. I couldn't stand when they began talking like this, let alone talking about Andy. I think throughout the years I've drowned them all out whenever they spoke about him. Hell, if it took me looking through old yearbooks and digging through my sparse memories of seeing him then obviously I drowned him out as far as I could. Opening my eyes, I turned my head around and focused on the courtyard seeing the various groups of people sitting with their friends, or partners kissing and snuggling each other as if it was the first time they ever gotten together. The courtyard was always like this everyday, so I knew this wasn't just normal first day of school activity. With my eyes still roaming the space, I noticed a person underneath a tree that no seemed to go by. It always appeared dead and full of rot anyway, so no one ever went near it. Leaning forward and focusing more on that person, I realized who it was and it was like the coffee shop all over again.

"Andy.." I whispered, seeing him sitting under the tree towards that far end of the court yard. He was reading a book from what I could tell, sitting in the same position he did in that chair at the coffee shop. Even from far away (which was probably about a good fifteen feet from were we sat) he was so angelic. Small even. All I wanted to do was go over and speak to him. Having one interaction him that would make up for my anonymous coffee I gave him. Would it? Or would it just make me seem like a weird stalker, or even like I'm playing some game with him? Hell, he probably wouldn't even want to talk me. Although all I could do was take a chance at it.

Taking in a deep breath and ignoring whatever type of conservation my friends were having, I stood myself up and brushed any dust from the ground off me. I put my phone in my pocket and moved my bag over towards Liam's before facing the direction Andy was in to walk to. Before I even made a dent in walking, I heard Louis speak up behind me.

"Where are you going Harry?"

I didn't reply to him beside looking in the direction of Andy.

"Harry, what are you looking at too? What are you," it was Niall this time who was speaking, until he realized the direction I was starting in. He was across from me, and could see the tree itself. "Harry no! You can't go to..you can't...Harry buying him a coffee anonymously was enough. You do not need to interact with him. It's the first fucking day of school."

Sighing, I brushed off his protested and began to make my way towards the tree and Andy not caring. I didn't care what people said about him, the rumors weren't true until proven, and above all I couldn't give one single fuck what Niall, Zayn, Louis, or Liam thought about him. They barely knew him and interacted with him. They technically knew nothing about him beside the fact he was adopted and was nearly blind, otherwise that was it. I, myself, only found about that because I asked Niall. Even still I barely trusted him. If I can't trust him for answers on school work when I don't understand it myself, then I couldn't trust him with those facts about Andy. It's better to know and learn about the person themselves from that person.

When I got in front of the boy sitting reading the book with his music blaring through his earbuds, I cleared my throat and saw him stare up at me. _Holy shit, his eyes are so...beautiful._ They were so blue, a little clear and dull in some spots, yet so blue. They reminded me of the sea, it's different colors, and the mysteries it held. Just like him...

Wiping my hands against my jeans, I extended one hand out for him to shake if he wanted to.

_Here goes nothing Harry._

"Hi there."


	4. |3| Andy

"Hi there."

Looking up from my book, I blinked making sure I could see correctly. I thought I had gone temporary blind again or I was just imagining who was in front of me because I knew that there was no that he would ever interact, let alone, be in front of me. He's gone to school with me for years and never once noticed me. So why was he noticing me now? It seemed pointless of him to do so, it's not as if I'll ever speak to him, nor anyone, nor even see him. He had friends, he wasn't a random kid who still had an American accent mixed with a British one, he was Harry Styles. He was what everyone wanted. He wasn't....me.

I noticed he was holding a hand out for me to shake. My eyes narrowed at that. _Do you really think I'll shake your hand?_ I knew handshakes were how people introduced each other, yet to get one from Harry it was unnerving. It made me feel like some child being introduce to social workers again, my doctors, and just anyone who was older than me. Harry wasn't that older than me. A year maybe, but not that older. Then again, his handshake seemed to be how teenage boys greeted each other lately.

Keeping my eyes narrowed, I continued to stare at him still wondering what he wanted. Apparently, he still thought I would shake his hand. Ever so slowly though, he got my vibe and lowered his hand back to side before wiping it on his pants. I mentally scoffed. _Are you that nervous to talk to me? Then if you are, maybe you shouldn't talk to me._

"You're Andy Biersack, right?" Harry questioned me. I almost made an audibly scoff at that question. _Did you seriously just ask me? Have your little friends not told you already who I was? Has not the school?_

Refraining from making a face and rolling my eyes, I closed my book, fixed my glasses and hair to look at him. He honestly wasn't much in my opinion. After all, he was Harry Styles. Everyone loved and gushed over him, no matter their sexual orientation or gender. His eyes were odd, they were green yet blue at times. His brown hair was curly and near shoulder length. He was just...Harry was just to clean cut, not someone who would talk to me. _You better give him a nod of yes Andrew._ Rolling my eyes at myself mentally, I cracked a faint smile and gave Harry a nod. _That wasn't so hard now, was it Andrew?_

"I'm Harry. Harry Styles. We're in the same class. We've gone to school together for years." He said smiling largely at me still with hope in his face that I would talk. You're wasting your time Harry, completely wasting it.

Uncomfortable silence fell between us, only the chatter from the courtyard filled it. We seemed to be stuck in our own world under the tree, well my tree. No one dared to come near it after I practically claimed it first year. Although it wasn't really claimed for a good reason. The memory itself wasn't pleasant either. Shifting my position, I rested my hands on my ankles, wondering if he would say anything at all, or that the bell would ring, or that he would leave when he realized I was pointless to interact with. After all, that's what happened.

Yet he didn't leave.

He rubbed his arm and sheepishly smiled at me, "I know you don't talk that much, yet I was wondering if we have any classes later we could try to set near each other, or if you want to when you have lunch and if I have lunch around that time we could sit together."

Now this time I thought I was deaf. Harry asking to sit by me, asking for us to hang out during lunch? Yeah, he was obviously on some type of drugs or trying to set me. No one asked me, or well they tried and gave up after the first try to sit with them at lunch or in class.

Giving Harry a hesitant look, I blinked wondering how to response to his question. I couldn't just nod a yes to him, and if I nodded a no to him that would be rude and who knows what people would say. 'Andy turned down Harry's request to sit near each other. Such a loser.' Or 'What an asshole Andy is, no one wonder no one talks to him,' or anything along those lines. It wouldn't really surprise me. Picking my phone and unlocking it, I opened my notes and began typing. Maybe giving him a slight answer would help. Once typing it, I flashed it too him hoping he would get it. At least it wasn't truly rude.

Bending down to read my phone, Harry began nodding and smiled again. _Does he ever stop smiling?_

"Really? Good. If we do have classes, it'll be nice to sit next to you. It would be a nic-"

The bell singling that our morning break was over rang, cutting him off and I quickly began put away my book in my bag while turning up my music on my phone. I wanted to get out of here and back inside to my next class as soon as possible. As much as his offer and answer to my message was nice, I couldn't be out here much longer. The more I was out here with Harry, various people from each year in our school, and his four friends in the background watching us the more I felt nervous and wanting to disappear.

Making sure I had everything, I stood up, slung my bag over my shoulder and began to make my way inside the school for my next round of classes throughout the day. Only a few more hours and hopefully I could make it; without Harry or his friends getting in the way.

To my utter and utmost luck, Harry was in the last three classes I had. Out of all the years I thought I could continue to avoid him, let alone his other four friends, it never seemed to happen. One or two of them would be in my classes, sometimes multiple classes throughout the day. Liam was in my weight lifting classes that I am forced to take, though luckily the gym teacher is allowing me to do light weight lifting, and the treadmill for light running. Due my medical history, I couldn't take fully take gym since my doctors were against it, yet I needed a class to pass high school so I was forced to take weight lifting. My doctor agreed despite his letters and now I have to deal with Liam. There really was no way of escaping him, or anyone of them. At least Liam was as much as a dick compared to Niall. I remembered Niall well from first year, we had two classes together both semesters and all he did was try to make them hell. It seemed to be his task from day with the rest of them. I never understood what I did to them or the school, yet they found the way to make school a living hell for me. Despite myself already making my life hell in general.

Right now we were in the last class of the day and second history class I was taking as an elective; Psychology. It was a university level class, meaning we got a few hours and the credit for it if we passed it, and that's all I hoped for. The teacher had let us pick our seats, and thankfully I was able to take the front seat by the door in case I had to leave. Majority of my teachers knew my problems, and understood if I had to leave due quickly. People saw as attention, from what I've heard with the rumors, yet if teachers could other students do it with the same problems, broken bones, or whatever then me doing it wasn't it problem.

Harry decided to sit behind me. Out of all the seats, the people he could sit by, even the view empty seats by the windows; he took the seat behind me. It made me angry in a way. If the teacher gave us the opportunity to choose our own seats, people didn't sit behind, nor next me and here was Harry fucking Styles, sitting right behind me like there was no care in the world. He is something else for sure. _Yet people like him, Andy, you have to remember that. He's not you...he's not an outsider._

"I've given you all the syllabus for this semester, the papers you have sign along with your parents or guardian, and that's it. Tomorrow will probably go the same as today. You'll get one of two books for you to us as your home set for the entire year tomorrow, and a calendar of what will be happening for the next two months. You can all do whatever you want to for the next thirty minutes, just don't cause to much a mess."

With that, the entire class began to to talk, and I pulled out my phone to listen to music to drown out the noise and my notebook this time to write or sketch a little. This was one of my notebooks I had, though this one was primarily for school. I used it for my schedule, writing down what I had do homework wise, or just sketched in it.

Feeling a tap on my shoulder I jumped in my seat and slowly turned my head to see Harry smiling at me with a small wave. Obviously, he was not going to leave me alone today.

"Guess we have the last three classes together. I'm glad, usually I get stuck with Niall, Liam, Louis, and Zayn all day in a way."

 _If only you were with them instead of having the last three classes with me. At least we don't have any of them in here like the last class, or Zayn and Liam like in my Forensic class earlier. That was hell._

Pushing my thoughts into the back of my mind, I forced another smile before turning back around and going back to sketching. Obviously, Harry couldn't get the motion that I didn't want him to talk to me. Thankfully though, he left me alone after that, taking it as an answer. _Thank God, he took that as an answer, I don't what I would do if he continued to talk to me._

The thirty minutes remaining passed quickly and before I knew it the announcements for the end of day had happened and the bell rung, singling everyone could finally leave today. Putting away my sketch book, I took out my keys instead to then zip up my bag and heading out the door leaving Harry behind. Of course, though I knew he would try to come after me, not like that would surprise me. He wanted to talk to me so badly, yet he respected me not speaking. _It's a game Andrew, it's all a game to him. Probably one of his friends setting you for disaster._ Wouldn't be surprised in that, to be honest. Finally making my way through the school to the exit near the parking lot, I halted when none of other than a voice I recognized from the last three classes; Harry Styles. Along with his voice though I recognized his friends. Of course, they would fallow him and go this way. Why can't I just have one minute without them

"Andy wait! Andy!"

Turning around I bit my lip, tugging on my lip ring. I saw Harry standing there staring at me with his group of friends behind him. They all looks on their faces that I've seen before. They were excepting me to talk. Not as if that would happen at all.

I heard a laugh coming from one of them, Liam I think. "Harry come on, he's not worth it. Let's go. He's not going to say one single fucking word at all."

Biting my lip harder, I looked down and made my way out of the school and into the parking lot. I wanted to get far away from them as possible. Especially Harry. He didn't care. His group probably put him up to this. Nothing more would surprise me than that. They were always the ones in the drama, finding it out from others and helping it spread throughout the school. It never surprised since their accounts always popped up as recommendations in my social media. I checked normally, against my parents, doctors, and therapists wishes. They couldn't stop me no matter how they told me not to. Hearing a snicker from one of them, I looked up at them again before curtly turning back around in the direction of the parking lot. The faster I could get out of here, the fast I could get home and try to forget about this day.

Slamming my car door shut, I made way up to the house, yanking the door opening not caring if anyone was here. I knew mum was out working, how late I never knew, though I knew dad was home. I made way through the kitchen determined to get to the stairs and into my room as quickly as possible.

"How was schoo...okay." I heard my dad say as I continued walking and up the stairs to my room. I yanked my door open the same way I did with the front door before slamming it shut and tossing my bag onto the floor before I grabbed my hair and slide down the door. I didn't like this. My thoughts were coming back and it didn't help. Why didn't the meds not work all the time? Why did my shadows take over even when I know I handle it? Why didn't I just sit down when my mom told me to in the car?

_Because you're constantly messing up or not following people's directions Andy.._

"Shut up, please. Just shut up." I whispered, my eyes squeezing shut feeling my glass slide off my face as my head tilted downwards. I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to disappear when Harry tried to talk to me, even the thought of him made me want to disappear. All I wanted to do was disappear. I didn't want this the first day. I just wanted a day free of everything.

Slowly standing up, I picked up my bag and placed it on my bed before heading over to change out of my clothes. They felt like heavy weight on me, tight too. Deep down I knew they weren't tight and it probably my mind messing with me; however, I still wanted to get out them. I tugged off my clothes till I was just wearing my underwear and tossed them in a pile of clothes that needed to be washed before digging through my closet just to grab something to cover me. Usually I would some shorts or my pajama pants-Batman or DC Comics of course-around the house, yet I didn't feel like putting any on.

Coming down the stairs wearing my jumper that was three sizes too big, I made my way over towards where my dad sat on the couch and sat down next to him to lean into his side as I did when I first began to open up. I also did this every time he came home from tour and I never planned on stopping even past age twenty.

"What happened today, my little Crow?" He asked me using my nickname. He started calling me Crow with how I reminded him of the bird itself and the fact it was the first word I said to him while we were out for a walk. The nickname and bird itself meant a lot and it made me feel at home.

I fumbled with the hems of my sleeves just sitting there wondering what to tell him without feeling that it was pointless. Would it be pointless to tell him that another person is talking to me? Especially a boy who has never noticed me, let alone, talk to me.

"Someone..someone spoke to..me..today." I said softly though nervously. I was unsure of my own words. They sounded fake coming out of my mouth, and left a stale taste in it. After so many years of being the outcast, left alone, being called words that dragged and dug knives through my skin, a person finally talking to me made me feel..strange, more of joke even. Because that's all I was to people beside my family..a joke.

I felt my dad shift his hold on me and bring us apart so I could look at him. "Isn't that good though? I know it's your last year of school, yet that's good for....Andy, hey don't cry sweetie."

Was I crying? Moving my covered hand up my face, I wiped away the wetness and bit my lip. I was crying and I didn't like the feeling.

"I just..wanted to..to get through this last year of school with...without having problems." I sobbed out, holding onto my dad as he held me. "Anyone who talks to me...problems are cre..created..and I just one year without problems, dad. On..one ye..year."

I broke down at the end. Gripping on to him and crying like I did whenever I broke down. Thankfully this wasn't bad as most of my break downs, or panic attacks, or the nightmares that plague me. I've woken my parents up multiple times throughout the years from the nightmares though they never complained. It didn't bother me as much as it bothered me for both causing them to wake up and for me just not being able to sleep peacefully. While I could get nights of peaceful sleeping, thanks to the sleeping meds I take if it gets to bad, they didn't last long. Sometimes it could be a good three or fours of sleep while some nights it can be one. Mainly it's because I stayed up letting my thoughts wonder, and usually it lead me staying up until I've fought against myself long enough to tired me out. It was a painful process, yet that's just how life was.

I felt my dad continue holding me, his hand rubbing my arm, sometimes my back, and letting his thumb rub calming circles in my skin. It helped me calm down a little, leaving me to slowly began to let out small hiccups and snorting up the snot that left my nose. Crying was so disgusting. It left your face puffy, nose a mess, eyes stinging, and your glasses a mess. I'm surprised they didn't fall off with how my dad was holding me against him.

"Listen, your mum isn't coming home until midnight, and I may not be able to cook as best as her...though do you want to help me cook something for dinner? We can have anything you want." Dad spoke up gaining my attention and lifting my head up to look at him.

Sniffing and rubbing my face with my wet and snot ridden sleeve, I gave a small smile. Cooking dinner with dad would take my mind off of my thoughts and shadows, at least allowing me some peace. "Can we cook mac and cheese for me though? I think that might be what my stomach might be able to handle."

My dad laughed and hugged my close, kissing me on the forehead. He was such a dad and I was lucky to have him. "Sure we can Andy. Sure we can. As long as we can cook those ribs that have been calling my name since I bought them."

A faint laugh escaped me. Dad always had knew how to lighten the situation. He always did, even if it took a while for it to have an affect on me or any person. He still was able to lighten a situation.

I ate half of the mac and cheese after we cooked the food due to the fact my stomach still felt a bit uneasy after crying and I felt as if I ate anymore I would throw up and I only had this and breakfast today. The first day of school and it was already off to rough start. I thought that having one good start would change it, though it always seemed to good to be true. There always seem to be some type of obstacle throw in front of me from preventing me. It didn't matter if it was the world or myself, the good days never seemed to last.

Once I cleaned up my mess from eating and storing away the rest of the mac and cheese, I made my way up to my room to sit listening to music and scrolling through my phone. I found it pointless to have any type of social media, since all I did was follow various bands, artists, and post usual photos. 

Feeling a presence at my bed room door, I looked up to see my dad standing there. "You still awake?"

I gave a small nod. In truth, I wanted to sleep. I was so exhausted from crying, from school, from Harry talking to me...from life even. Although I didn't like that feeling, I wouldn't deny that I felt exhausted from life; yet once so many horrible things happen and horrible thoughts pile up you began to become exhausted from life.

"Listen, I know you are too old for it though if you ever want you can sleep in mum's and I's bed it's always open. Just because you aren't four foot seven, and still our little boy anymore doesn't mean you aren't allowed to sleep with us."

A muffled escaped me. I remember doing that for the longest time after they took me in. I had been so afraid and terrified of sleeping in a room alone, despite them fixing it to make me comfortable, due to thinking I would wake up in the car or hospital not being able to see. For a six-year-old experiencing that, it made sleeping terrible and unbearable for the longest time. Dad and mum let me sleep in their bed for the longest of times, and still let me when I have the nightmares, feel like this, or just need to be with them. It always reminds me how lucky I am to have them.

"I'll be fine dad, trust me. Nothing bad will happen tonight. If I do need to sleep with you and mum, I'll do it."

He smiled, walking into my room and taking a seat on the edge of my bed looking around my room. It was practically a second me. Filled band poster, photos, drawings, comics of Batman, anything that was me. A lot of poster my dad had got me due to touring with bands or being able to meet the bands I've loved. Some were signed, some weren't; yet they all were special. Some posters I got signed from meeting the bands themselves. It was one of the perks of having a tour managing parent. Beside the cons of him not always being here majority of the year.

"I still can't believe you have this many posters. Do you still want more if I can get them on the next round of managing?"

"Yes, I always need posters. Even new shirts or any merchandise. Do you know what band you'll be managing now?"

He chuckled. "Nope. I'm in the moment of getting put on the management of an American band who needs a manager. I have a meeting with their record label, the band itself, and some of their crew over FaceTime sometime. So, it's a fifty-fifty chance I'll be going with them."

I smiled and felt myself become happy. Whenever my dad or mum talked about their job, it made me happy since they enjoyed it and got to go to various places. Mum had gone to various fashion shows, parties, magazine companies, and shops across the world. Dad had gone to various countries with bands, managing small or large bands from times, and listening to their music. For me, it seemed hard, yet it wasn't. I've gone with them majority of times when possible, and it seemed amazing to watch them in their work space. They were both natural at it. 

"Does that mean, if you do get to manage them, will I be able to come for a few weeks on the tour? Even if it's in America or in Europe?" I asked feeling excitement bubble inside me. I always asked that question because I knew the answer would always be 'yes' or 'we will see.'

Looking over at me, he gave me the expression mum gave whenever I asked to go on a drive to the next city because a store has what I want. "Hmm, well, depending on how you are doing this year, how it goes, and if I do get to manage this band, you should be able to come on tour for a week or so. Your mum does want to take you to a fashion show in January though."

"Does that still mean I get the possibility of coming on tour with you and the band though?" I asked, not really caring about mum taking me to a fashion show. I loved fashion shows, don't get me wrong, yet sometimes being around that many people, the models themselves, and just everything about them made me want to stay in the corner. Too many people for me deal with. It wasn't as horrible as the fashion or band parties we sometimes went too, yet they could be equally worse.

"Yes." Dad groaned mockingly throwing his back like a teenager. I laughed and smiled. He could never tell me no, and mostly because he knows that it means the world to me going on tour with him and the band.

We sat on my bed together for a while talking together. It felt nice and relaxing a little to be able to talk. I savored these moments before he went anywhere with a band. If he wasn't a manager for bands and was just a band member, the situation would be the same with him leaving frequently. Before I knew it, we had been sitting there talking for more than two hours, laughing (even if half of mine were forced) and enjoying each other. It felt like when I was twelve all over again, just sitting here for hours talking about anything. Dad had told me had better go off to leave me to sleep. I watched him as he got up from his position on my bed and headed over to me to ruffle my hair and place a kiss on my head, I smiled at the action.

"Goodnight, Andy. I love you."

"Goodnight dad, I love you too."

Watching my dad walk out of my room and close my door, I laid back down on my bed and curled up with my knees tucked to my chest. Even after talking together, I still felt empty, numb, and void inside. It didn't matter if that conversation with dad lifted my spirits, or not, I still felt numb. I couldn't understand why they couldn't leave me alone for one day in my life. Whether it be in school or on social media, I was a joke to them. Maybe that's why Harry was talking to me today, maybe he was asked or dared to speak to me. It seemed reasonable, even though people-my parents I mean-would tell me not to believe it; I did. After all, why wouldn't I believe it? It was practically true.

Letting out a puff of air, I licked my lip and closed my eyes trying to allow myself to fall into a dreamless filled sleep.


	5. |4| Harry

We've been in school for two weeks and already there was a new rumor. Apparently, someone said they over heard that Andy got caught smoking either cigarettes or weed in the restroom. Obviously if he did smoke, whether it be cigarettes or weed, he wouldn't do that at school. He wasn't dumb enough to get caught like some others did, or like Scotty Briggs. When we first began school our first year, Scotty got caught both selling and smoking weed in the around the school. Multiple times. The only problem was, he was able to get off with chargers and expulsion from school due to his father being on the school broad. Ironically though, he ended up in jail right not even a month after his graduation that year and hasn't been out since. Andy, however, wouldn't do that. He seemed as the person who plans after graduating this year.

Today was a Saturday though and not having school meant I was able to go out today. And without my siblings asking me to do stuff for them. I didn't have to get my sister or brother anything, leaving me able to do whatever I want and spend time alone. It also nice since none of my friends came along with me. They were over bearing a lot, and recently since I started being interested in Andy, it had been worse. They would try to dig up any more rumors they could on him to tell me to stay away, yet I never listened. I had to act like I was to them. Sometimes I would get texts at night from one of them, mainly Niall, he lives in the rumors, with some new information on Andy. Half of the time I had to hesitate not to block any of their numbers at night. 

Since none of them where with me today, I had decided to head out to downtown London to relax and shop a bit. There was a book store I had wanted to go into for the longest time. It was two stories, with a nice Starbucks inside, and had an atmosphere that felt different from the outside world. The photos I've seen of it were wonderful. It seemed like that perfect place to get away, read, buy some books, and relax. Just what I needed already. A place to relax without anyone who knows me around me.

The best part about the bookstore, it was quiet despite being busy with people. I had been here since eleven and the number of people who have come in were either university students, parents with kids for either one of those children book meetings or just bringing them for the day, some people my age or older adults who come here to read the paper and books they probably wouldn't buy. At times bookstores seemed like libraries, yet they were a completely different world. Especially this place.

For being two stories and seemingly in a medium size building, this place was huge and had an old London feel. The large staircase leading up to the second floor was made of wood and wrought iron for the railings. It spoke that it belonged in one of those old houses or one those large estate out in the country; not a bookstore in downtown London. Then again, this place could rival an estate library.

So far, I've mainly stayed downstairs, sitting in one of the chairs reading through various magazines and books that I probably wouldn't buy. There were a few magazines that seemed worth it, yet none seemed to spark my interest for today. There was no desire in my though to leave, and I didn't want to spend my day walking around downtown doing nothing or going home and doing nothing as well. I mean, I could do homework, yet that's usually Sunday's problem.

Taking my belongings with me I made my way up the spiral staircase that lead to the second floor. Beside the main staircase, there were two spiral ones, this one, and another one on the other side of the store. It was nice since it gave you a way to get upstairs without walking all the way to main staircase. Plus, the spiral staircases were fun to walk up. And funnier than taking the elevator.

The upstairs area of the store was more a mixture of each book section, though held more of the teen and adult books, I guess you could say. The photos I've seen and what I've glanced around that's what this section was up here, though then again they could have always changed the sections around if they wanted too.

I made way over towards to one of the sections in the far front, it seemed to be full of various books, I think comics even. It seemed to be the section full of all the superhero books and comics. Then again, even with the signs labeling each section and still being my first time here, I really wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I'm also very not into superheroes and the comics and books that went with them. Not that I don't watch the movies, or anything; I was just not super interested in reading or spending a ton of my money on the comics, the books, even the figurines that went with them. However, as long as I'm here, it's worth checking it out to see what they have.

Walking over to one of the shelves I scanned over it. Of course, though, I barely recognized any of the comic brand names on this side of the shelf. Some of them seemed to be the same brand, yet multiple comics of the same character or different ones. I don't know how anyone would be able to keep up with all this. It seemed impossible. Defiantly not something I would be able to keep up with.

Realizing there wasn't anything grabbing my attention on this side, I decided to walk around to the other side, to see what was not the shelves there. It seemed to be books of sorts. Maybe art books of the comics or whatever. I wouldn't know at all. Even when I got into other bookstores I barely head into this section, so for me just going onto the other side of the shelve, does not help me understand of what anything was here. Then again, this what I get for not browsing to much in this section. Glancing over towards the middle section of the shelves, I noticed a tall person with long hair that looked seemingly familiar standing there. Even the jumper he was wearing looked familiar, as if I've seen it before somewhere. I watched him as he stood there looking over a book, looking over it intently. He pushed back a strand of hair, reveling glasses I've seen before on someone. They looked liked—

"Andy?"

He turned to look over at me and I noticed more of his face this time. His eyes were still the same colors of blue, he had a lip ring resting at the right side of his bottom lip, his cheek bones were sharp, and he had slight feminine features that didn't just stay on his face. He was stunning, beautiful, and angelic. It amazed me how people could create such horrible rumors about him when he seemed the exact opposite.

"Hi?"

I was taken back. Because one he talked, and the fact his voice was deep. It was a little scratchy, yet deep for our age. While people who gushed over me said my voice was deep, his was deeper. If he ever did speak, everyone would be gushing over him, commenting on his voice, and wondering why they were so rude to him in the first place. Though it would make them all hypocrites just because his voice could truthful intoxicate someone.

"You..you talked?"

He scoffed. "What are you? Shocked that the freak can speak?"

 _Did he really see himself as a freak?_ I shook my head and opened my mouth, "I am shocked..it just..I didn't except your voice to be so deep."

He rolled his eyes and closed the book he was staring at to then look at me fully. He was wearing the same jumper from four weeks ago. It was a light gray color and framed his body well, even though it appeared to be very large on him. It made him look tiny and shorter, especially for him with pushing around six foot two. It made him also look cute.

"That's what everyone says Harry. I have a deep voice for my age, big deal." Andy said back to me with a hint of annoyance in his voice. I am guessing he got that a lot when he spoke out towards people. Does he speak to his parents? Was he a selective mute then?

"No, I'm not a selective mute or even mute." He said. I guess I spoke that out loud. "I talk, but I don't give everyone the pleasure of hearing my voice. Sometimes when you try enough to speak, and fail so many times; not everyone is worth hearing your voice."

I couldn't speak or move at what he was saying. If I said anything, it might come out wrong and I didn't want to hurt him in any way. I've already got his attention and it seemed to be turning out horribly. Maybe everyone was right about not interacting with him, maybe he was a lost cause..or maybe not. Maybe he was not used to having interactions that well.

Andy bent down to grabbed a small black bag off the floor before looking over at me again. "Look, it was nice to meet you, let's never meet again unless it's school or just passing by in public Harry. We can't be seen interacting with each other."

He began to sling the bag over his shoulder and began to turn around book in his hand ready to leave.

I couldn't let him leave. This was my chance to get to know him; to talk to him. I had to stop him from leaving. 

"Do you want to sit down and have a coffee or something to eat with me from the Starbucks in here?"

His body completely stopped and became stiff. _Did I ask the wrong question? Or did I come off too weird?_

Slowly turning around, Andy was chewing on his lip and looked around wondering if he was being watched by someone from our school or by Niall, Liam, Louis, or Zayn. Thankfully none of them where here. Zayn almost came along with me today, though declined at the last minute. If he was here, this moment right now would be a completely disaster.

"I'm not setting you up. I'm here by myself. I can assure you." I said to him watching his body language began to relax, though still stiff. He stood there thinking for what felt like the longest time, the silence of the bookstore falling over us. My pulse was beating in my ears. For some reason, I was nervous that he would completely declined; although, he had ever right to. We barely knew each other in the first place, we barely talked to each other. If he declined, it would hurt me, yet it wouldn't be the end of my world.

"Fine." He mumbled looking at me. "Just a coffee though, nothing else."

When we went down to the Starbucks, I told Andy to get a seat at one of the tables, in which he took the far corner table as he did the last time. He seemed more comfortable sitting in the corner, then again usually those are the quietest places. Thankfully this Starbucks had exactly what he got last time and I didn't mind paying extra to add anything. I had gotten my usual chocolate ice coffee, and when they were both done I walked over to the table were Andy sat with his phone out scrolling through it.

He took the coffee looking at me with slight thankful, yet hesitant expression. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I said taking a seat across from him. "You seem hesitant though?"

"I..I don't usually get asked for coffee or offered or even take the offer. I don't get asked to do anything." Andy replied sipping lightly on his coffee. "It's strange for me."

I smiled faintly. "Well, consider this the first of many."

His eyes shot to me and I could see in his stare he was wondering what I meant. "What do you mean?"

"Consider this as the first of many times I want to get coffee or hang out with you. I want to get to know you, Andy."

Andy's mouth opened a bit then closed and he looked away almost as if he was worried my friends were watching. Even if they were, they wouldn't. Barely any of them know this place, let alone I don't think they rarely go to bookstores beside Zayn. I think he tends to spend more time with his family out than the rest of us. Plus, he's the one who started getting me to go to bookstores.

"It's not a set up. None of my friends are here today with me. I literally don't think they would even be able to stay in here for five minutes without getting kicked out." I said watching him still. He seemed to look over at the last words I said. "Plus, I don't think I wouldn't be able to talk to you at all."

His eyebrow arched, peaking over his glasses. "Honestly I'm surprised you even want to talk to me after all your countless efforts."

"Why wouldn't I not want to talk to you? You're interesting."

"You...you think I'm interesting?" He said in a low voice. "You don't even know me."

Sipping on my coffee I knew what he meant. I barely knew him, I didn't know him. We went to school forever and I never had, until now, wanted to get to him. Fuck, I didn't even know who he was. I had to ask Niall. Niall out of all fucking people. "Just because I don't know you, doesn't mean I don't want to get to know you. You are interesting Andy. I want to get to know you. Like I should have during year five or three years ago."

Brushing a strand of hair out of his face Andy gave me a soft look. There seemed to be a lot confusion and questioning in his face and eyes. His eyes seemed to waver on the words I've said. They spoke his emotions and I could tell from them that he was ultimately unsure about this.

"You're friends though." He shifted in the chair. "You can try to get to know me, but your friends won't let you. Plus, it's pointless after this long to get to know me. We graduate this year Harry. We won't see each other again."

"I won't let any of my friends get in the way of trying to know you. I don't believe anything they or the school says about you. Plus, I know that getting to know you seems pointless, which it isn't."

His eyes lit up at that with that. It seemed to be the first time anyone outside of his small circle, probably family, ever said that him. For some reason that seemed to tug at my feels inside.

"You really..you really mean this? You really want to get to know me, don't you Harry?" He asked me again in a low voice.

I nodded taking a sip of my coffee with a faint smile. "Yes. Yes I do. I think it's time to get to know you."

When I said that, it seemed there was a faint smile on his face, yet he seemed to hide with his hair and taking a drink of coffee. This was the first start of getting to know him, and the first start of possible seeing him more than at school; and that was something I was looking forward too more than ever.


	6. Chapter 6

Tugging at the sleeves of my sweater I couldn't focus. It was only sixth period, or hour, still never understood the difference, and I was on edge. My entire body was shaking and the air around me was getting tight. This was not good, and I couldn't have this happen to me now. Not in the middle of class.

Chewing on my bottom lip, I tugged the end of my sleeves of my hands and brought my right hand up to my face and tried to focus hard on counting or good thoughts, yet nothing was coming. The air kept tighter and I was starting to not be able to breath. Miss. Jacob, our math teacher was at the board explaining our notes for the chapter and doing examples before she continued on with the next slide; yet I wasn't listening, let alone write. I had to get this under control or at least out of this class.

Closing my eyes and taking in a shaky breath, I slowly raised my left hand for Miss. Jacob to notice, if she could. Sometimes she didn't and sometimes she did. I know. I had her second semester freshmen year for the second half of math, along with Louis. I'm surprised I came out alive that year with him in class.

Still trying to take in deep breaths, focus, and count in my head, I kept my hand raised as high as possible without feeling my arm shake more. I already felt some pairs of eyes staring at me, and this was not going to make my situation better. Being stared at happened to much, too much even more whenever I messed up or made a fooled of myself, especially when I was having one of my anxiety attacks.

"Andy, are you..do you need to go to the nurse or just outside of class?" I heard Miss. Jacob's voice reach me. It felt distant in my ears, yet I know she was staring in my direction.

I nodded to her question, still not able to speak. I really needed to get out of here, anywhere would be better than here, except I didn't want to run. Usually when I did that people would talk about that more about that then the rumors would begin. The last time I ran out of a class due to an anxiety attack, twice in a one day, it was all over the school. I think that was the one day when hid in an old section of the school that's not use in anymore. The worst part was; barely anyone, except the teachers notice I was gone. They were the only ones who noticed after all.

"Um, Harry, would you be able to take Andy to the nurse or outside of class. I'll write you both excuse for the rest of class, and send you copies of the rest of the notes and what we are doing."

"Yes Miss. Jacob."

Even with their exchange, and Harry agreeing on what Miss. Jacob had asked, I knew she probably thought he was the only who would help me. After all, she wasn't blind to what happened to her students. She was a mother to her students, to everyone really. She got to know me the most freshmen year after seeing what happened. I was lucky to have her as a math teacher second semester that year and lucky to have her now as my teacher again.

Trying to focus on myself I didn't pay attention to what was going on around me. My hearing was becoming muffled and I could faintly hear various voices from the class, Miss. Jacob, and Harry around me. Footsteps came up to my desk and I felt my notebook being picked up from underneath my elbow and the sound of my pencil case even being packed up too. I'm guessing it was Harry because no one else would do that, even if asked.

Feeling a small tug on my arm, I was carefully helped up from my seat by Harry and taken out of the class, various voices still muffled in my ear. I could hear Miss. Jacob thanking Harry before we completely made it into the hallway. Harry had his arm wrapped around my arm, helping me down the hall. The nurse's office was downstairs, close to the main office, and even then we still had a long ways to go.

Not even half way down the hall, I felt my knees began to buckle and I could feel Harry trying to keep me up standing, but I couldn't. I couldn't keep standing or walking. I gripped onto his arm as I felt my knees began to buckle causing both of us to stagger. He took in notice of me and lead us close to a wall so that I could have support other than him to lean or sit against. Once we got over to the wall my grip on him was released and my shoulder touched the wall before I turned around on my back and slide down. My breathing was increasing again and the air felt tight again. I gripped tried to take in large breathes to get my breathing back to normal; however, I couldn't. I couldn't even focus. 

I heard the sound of bags being dropped to the floor and the sound of Harry dropping down to the floor in front of me. He reached out and put his hands on my shoulders. I tensed at first, but my body then relaxed into his touch. As if my body knew he wouldn't hurt me.

"Andy, breath. Listen to me, just focus and try to count with me. We're going to count to ten and then back down." Harry said. I tried to nod to him, but couldn't. I didn't even know if I was going to be able to focus. This could be one that could last for more than ten minutes, or even twenty. I don't think Harry would be able to help me if it goes past twenty minutes.

"Count with me. One,"

With a weak voice I croaked out, "One.."

He smiled and rubbed the sides of my upper arms. "Good. Keep going. Two..three..four.."

My breath hitched again while I tried to follow with him. Tears were starting to come up and I could feel them on going down my cheeks. I stared into Harry's face, focusing as best as I could on him, his words, and breathing. We continued counting up and down from ten until I was able to focus both on him and my breathing. It took us about ten minutes to get me calmed down and for my breathing to become normal again. At least it didn't last any longer.

"There you go Andy. Easy. Just take easy breaths now."

Releasing my grip on him that I didn't know I had on him, I shakily wrapped my arms around my body. I was still shaking, with tears going down my face and probably snot. I knew I looked like a mess and I prayed that no one saw us or heard of us. Yet from the looks of it..no one did.

Sniffling I tried to rubbed my face with my sleeve and felt my glasses fall off into my lap, I picked them up and tried to put them back on until Harry grabbed them. I didn't know what he was doing due everything being fuzzy, but it didn't seem to be bad. He might be cleaning them.

"They have smudges on them. Here." Soon enough I saw two out stretched hands come close to my face with the black frames and soon enough my vision was clear. I noticed that he was kneeling in front of me, both our bags to the side of him, and even a mild concerned expression on his face. Was he that worried about me?

Brushing my hair back out of my face, I looked at him with a soft expression. "Thank you Harry.."

"You're welcome Andy. You feeling alright?"

"Yea..yeah.." The reply came from me hesitantly. I didn't want to lie to him that I was still unsure. I never really knew how I felt until after a while. Sometimes it affected me all day.

"Listen, I know we still don't each other that well, but do you want go to the library for the remainder of time? I don't think anyone would now."

Sniffing once again, I chewed on my lip and thought on that. We really didn't know each other and after our small conversation at the library Saturday, we still didn't talk despite us exchanging phone numbers. He's tried to text me, yet I've ignored them all. Deep down I knew this wasn't a setup, that he was doing this out of his own kindness, yet some part of me was unsure. For all I knew they could be setting me up; however, I wanted to try to know him.

Looking back at him, I pushed a strand of hair out of my face and took in a breath. "Sure. But, can we go to the old library. It's more quiet and used for book storage now. No one, besides me goes in there."

He smiled at me. "That's fine. Though you have to lead the way, I've never been in there before. Let alone, I didn't even know it existed."

 _You barely even knew that I existed._ Mentally hitting myself for that thought, I gave a weak smile before pushing myself off the ground and making my way with Harry in the direction of the library. _This is going to be fun._

The time Harry and I spent in the library was nice and calming. Completely different than what I had thought. It was completely quiet beside us in there, although for the longest time we didn't talk to each other. When we first got in there and I lead him to the spot I normal sit in, we were silent. I honestly couldn't tell if he was nervous about being here with me, alone, or that he didn't want to get into my space and say something out of turn. He seemed very caring though and cautious. I think he didn't want me to have another attack, something no one beside my family, was cautious about. I didn't usually have another anxiety attack after one, yet it has happened once before in sixth grade. It was the third scariest moment in my life.

"So I didn't see you this morning during break."

Looking up from picking at the fraying carpet I blinked. He didn't see me? Boy, he was becoming an observant fuck when it came to me now. Honestly makes me wonder if he's a stalker or just stalking me...or his friends put him up to this. I still think his friends put him to this, yet my mind told me that wasn't it.

"What are you, stalking me now?" I asked with a huff hoping not to come off to harsh and more sarcastic. If he was going to talk to me and try to get to know me, I better not ruin it. If the school gets wind that I was rude to the Harry Styles, I'd be six feet under in a minute.

He chuckled, shaking his head. "No. No. I think Niall does that with me. I swear that boy has problems. I mean, he can't stay off his phone for more than a second and doesn't leave me side when he's around. I sometimes wonder if he honestly stalks me." He paused and looked directly at me. "He showed up at my house at two in the morning one day to tell me that he got us tickets to go to a movie. A movie."

For some reason I laughed. I never thought I would laugh at hearing such a story. Niall, asshole Niall Horan showing at Harry's house at two in the morning to show him tickets for a movie? Jesus, and I thought my cousin was worse.

Harry was smiling at me, "You're laughing. I think that's the first laugh I've heard from you."

"Don't be surprised if I don't laugh a lot." I said. "Hearing that Niall showed up at your house at two in the morning is hilarious. Reminds me of my cousin. He showed up at once at midnight so we could prep for a football game between Ireland and I think Newcastle United. He's worse during FIFA. I think one time my entire family had to tell him to stop coming over at ungodly hours. He didn't listen. He still does it."

This in turn made Harry laugh. I've heard him laugh before throughout the years, though never in front of me. His laugh was nice, it matched him and his voice. Both our voices were deep, but for some reason his was different. I couldn't tell if it was because of his accent or what, but it was different. I hated to admit it, yet his voice drew me in and was calming. Ever since the bookstore his words replayed in my head. He wanted to get to know me, after all ever since we exchanged numbered that day he's tried texting me and I've only answered him back every so often. I was still wary about this; however, nothing seem to be giving me those signs. Maybe he did really want to get to know me.

Calming down from laughing Harry began to open his mouth to speak again until he was interrupted by the bell, indicating that we had to move on to our next class, which was creative writing. It was a nice class, small too. Standing up, we got our bags together before heading out of the old library and into the hallway. The class wasn't to far away from the library, so we wouldn't be late thankfully. Because if people saw that Harry Styles was late to class with me...I'd be more dead.

As we blended in with the crowd of the hall, Harry looked over at me and cleared his throat to gain my attention. I looked over, trying to keep my sight ahead of me to not run into someone.

"I was going to ask you in the library, but do you want to hang out after school tomorrow? I know we have psychology after this class, but I rather ask you now then forget it until later."

Taken back by that question without halting in the hallway, I looked at him with slight shock. He wants to hang out..with me? Harry Styles wants to hang out with me? Again? Swallowing and looking at him, I stammered out, "Uh, yeah. Sure. Yeah, we can..we can hang out tomorrow."

He smiled at me. A large smile. "Really? You want to? That's great. I guess if we have time we can talk about it in class and I'll text you tonight about it."

I gave him a smile with a raised eyebrow as we headed into our next class. Hanging out with Harry wouldn't be to bad. Although, I feel as if I agreed to fast without thinking. Maybe if I think it over tonight, I could give him a better answer. Yet for now, that would have to wait until home.

After I had gotten home from school, I sat in the living room with my mum watching random shows on Netflix while doing my homework and she did her work. Dad had recently left for the States to prepare and meet the band he was touring with. The band was an American tour first, then coming over to Europe then going to a a few places in Canada and Mexico before finishing off the tour in California again. Dad's schedule was always busy and hectic, sometimes it was worse. Though after a while it becomes easier to deal with. The good thing was that mum didn't have to leave England just yet, and usually when she did it was during a weekend and would sometimes take me with her if it didn't interfere with school or doctor appointments. Mum worried about me too much, I appreciated it a lot, though sometimes missing school to go with my mum to another country while she works and be able to spend time with her there is honestly better than school. If I'm lucky this year, and do well in my classes and test, mum said she would take me out for an entire week with her while she works. It would probably do me good to be away from school, and be able to spend my free time around the city we would stay in. Hopefully she would do it before I go with dad on tour; if I go with dad on tour. I would need the stress free week with mum before going on tour with dad. Especially with school being..school.

Pulling an old band tee over my head, I yawned. My hair was still damp from my shower, yet I didn't feel like drying it properly, let alone looking at myself in the mirror. I felt horrible still from earlier, and my shower didn't really help the feeling go away. Plus, I didn't want to see myself. I hated my body. It was deathly pale even with a light tan, fading scars littered my arms and some parts of my upper body from when glass had cut me, the small amount of tattoos I had stood out, and I was..chubby. I had been chubby since fifth — well year six, and it didn't help that I hadn't grown yet. I hadn't noticed it until I was in year nine and the taunting started more; and even now being six foot, close to six foot one my self hatred for myself didn't change.

Sighing I put my phone on the charger on my bed side table and laid down. Harry had asked me again while we texted if I was one hundred percent sure I wanted to hang out after school tomorrow, of course I said yes. I didn't really think I had no choice in not going. He would have understood if I said no; although I felt obligated to go. Who knows what would happened if I turned down a chance to hang out with him, and if the others find out...God that will be a field day. Niall will try to destroy me more along with Liam, Louis, and Zayn, then the entire school. If I wanted to be more of joke and an outcast to the school, turning Harry would do just that.

Taking off my glasses and running a hand through my drying hair, I set my glasses down next to my phone and pulled the blankets close to me. I slept with nearly fifty blankets, or what felt like fifty blankets. I had two Batman ones, a duvet that was more meant for winter, a wool blanket from Scotland that I had since I was adopted, and one of those chunky knitted wool blankets from Australia. I was always cold, the weather didn't help, and the fact that I kept on a fan in my room probably didn't help either. However I wasn't going to change that, like I wasn't able to change a lot of things.

Brushing a strand of hair behind my ear, I rolled over and snuggled closer into the blankets before yawning and closing my eyes. My entire body was exhausted still and finally wanting to sleep. I didn't normally get sleep or as much as I should get, yet hopefully tonight would be a night with sleep.

_There was a faint beeping filling my ears. My entire body felt heavy and numb. I didn't know where I was, the last thing I could remember was being in the car. We were driving home from the zoo, and I had been moving around in my seat the entire time. Mom had bought me a tiger plushie and I kept throwing it in the air to catch it and playing it with on the back of her seat. She had told me countless times to stop moving and sit down correctly, yet I didn't listen. I didn't listen at all. I could remember mom turning back around and pushed me back down, and dad looking back for only a split second to tell me to listen to her before a horrible sound happened and there was screaming and my voice. I was in pain all over before I was pulled from the car, clinging onto the tiger plushie before my world went black._

_Trying to move my body, I couldn't without feeling weighed down, and my throat felt scratchy and sore like how it felt with strep throat. Groaning I slowly opened my eyes only to feel a small shot of pain go through me. A small whimper escaped me as I continued to try to open my eyes, the pain was there and I didn't understand why. Finally feeling them open I was greeted with darkness other than the bright light. I quickly closed them again hoping it was just like how you wake up after oral surgery and you were just out of it. Opening them again, darkness was still there. I couldn't..see..I couldn't..._

With a large gasped for air, I jerked awake with my mouth to scream, but no sound came out. I was breathing hard and sweating. I had the dream again and I didn't like it. It haunted me. It was the exact moment I woke up to my entire life changing. Waking up with no sight, no idea where anyone was, to learning a few days later as some of my sight regained that my dad was barely going to make it and that my mom had died before reaching the hospital. It was all my fault that mom had died and dad wasn't...wasn't going to make it. If I had just...If I had just listened..they should still be...

Finally letting out a sob I covered my face and laid back down, rolling onto my side. I reached up above my pillows and felt for the tiger that I still had and clung it to my chest. It was still one of the last things I had of my parents. It was one the last memories, good memories I had to remember them. Curling into ball to being the tiger plushie closer to me I sobbed silently hoping not to wake up mum. I hated waking her up and she didn't need that tonight. Placing a kiss on the tiger I brought it closer to my face. Sleep wasn't coming tonight. It would never come peacefully, it never does.


End file.
